my truth life

My Feeling.

2010-10-07T02:14:00.002+08:00

Woots, long time didnt update my blog..too too too many things happen to me lately...

only blog i can express my feeling..

Peristiwa yang paling menyedihkan dalam hidup aku, papa.papa dah tak ada lagi untuk selama lamanya.

Sampai sekarang,aku masih tak boleh terima kenyataan yang papa dah takda lagi tuk selama lamanya.Tarikh Keramat dlm hidup aku ialah 13 august 2010.Haritu,aku tengah tengok movie phobia dgn kakak and anty.Tengah2 best tengok,tiba2,sis dapat call.That time tak tau sape yg call.The way my sis ckp phone time tu,hati aku gelisah,badanku menggeletar.Afta dia letak je phone,dia nangis gila2..omg!Bila tanya kenapa,dia nangis je.Last2 dia ckp,papa dah tak ada..ya allah,aku menangis mcm org gila.meronta ronta.tampar pipi aku supaya aku rasa itu semua mimpi.Tp ternyata tidak.Hati aku terlampau sedih,pilu sangat2.Bila tanya sis mcm mana papa meninggal.Dia bgtau,papa jatuh katil and meninggal.Sehari sebelum tu,rumah kena potong electric.Aku call papa banyak kali,dia xangkat.Then aku sms dia suruh dia angkat.Afta that,dia call.Aku ckp rmh xda electric.Aku sorg je kt rmh that time.Suruh dia bayar electric.Then papa ckp,dia xsihat,dia demam dah 2 hari.Tiba2 hati aku rasa mcm xtenteram.aku srh dia pegi clinic.jumpa doctor.Dia ckp nanti2 je.Dia nak rest kat rmh.Hari tu jugak,dia gagahkan diri pergi bayar bil electric.Itulah kali terakhir aku dapat bercakap dgn dia.Hari terkahir aku jumpa dia pada 7 august 2010.Haritu,aku pergi makan dgn dia dgn sis.Dia nak belanja aku makan sempena birthday aku.Dia excited sangat masa tu.Aku boleh lihat muka dia betapa happynya dia masa tu.Masa makan dgn papa,dia memang xbanyak bercakap.Dia banyak diam je.Selama ni,kalau kuar makan,mesti dia akan bercakap je.Tapi hrtu dia xbnyk bercakap.Itulah kali terakhir aku dapat jumpa papa.

Ya allah, aku masih xpercaya yang papa dah tak ada lagi.Masa papa pergi untuk selama lamanya, mama pulak kat mekkah masa tu.Betapa beratnya dugaan aku masa tu.Malam papa meninggal tu,aku selongkar almari mama.Keluarkan semua baju.Cari baju kurung aku.Aku dah mcm org gila msa tu.Then kitorang terus je pergi bangi.Rumah papa.sampai je depan rumah papa,aku tengok ramai org.aku melulu masuk dalam rumah.Walaupun ada org tanya aku anak papa masa tu,aku buat bodoh.Langsung xlayan.Masuk je rumah papa,Ya Allah,aku lihat sekujur tubuh papa terbaring kaku.Badan aku lemah longlai masa tu.Aku xsangka yang papa memang dah takda tuk selamnya.Aku menangis gila2,peluk kakak aku.Kenapa begitu cepat papa pergi.Aku tau ini takdir.Ajal ada di tangan Allah.Tapi aku manusia biasa.Aku xtahan sgt2.Aku menangis teresak esak.Pergi ambik air sembahyang and bacakan yassin depan papa.Sebelum papa meninggal,papa dh 2 hari demam.and papa sesak nafas.Tak sangka,papa jatuh katil and terus meninggal.Then family aku pun dtg malam tu,aku terus peluk dorg,menangis dekat diorang.Then aku balik rumah since jenazah papa dihantar ke hospital untuk buat post mortem.Pagi tu,aku pergi hospital untuk tuntut mayat papa.Aku sempat masuk bilik mayat dan aku lihat papa.Hati aku sayu melihat muka papa.muka papa mcm papa tgh tidur je.Masa tunggu jenazah papa post mortem,pembantu papa,org yg kerja dgn papa cerita pasal papa dekat kitorang.Seminggu sebelum papa meninggal,papa selalu sangat sebut nama aku dgn kaklong.Dia cakap,dia nak bwk kitorang pergi bercuti.Then dia ckp nk ajak g genting sbb dah lama xbwk kitorang g genting.Sehari sebelum papa meninggal,dia nak bawak kitorang buka puasa kat golden palace hotel.But papa demam masa tu,so,ingatkan hari lain je.Hasil post mortem mengatakan papa kena heart attack..jantung papa dah bengkak beberapa hari.Sebab tu papa sesak nafas.

Selepas papa dh post mortem,jenazah papa dibawa ke surau dekat dgn kwsn rumah papa.Aku naik sekali van jenazah papa.Hati aku hiba sangat masa tu.Papa dimandikan dan aku turut mandikan papa.Papa dikapankan dan disembahyangkan.Alhamdulillah,segalanya berjalan dengan lancar.Syukur,ramai sangat yg dtg masa tu.Selepas papa disembahyangkan,kitorang diberi peluang kali terakhir untuk cium wajah papa dan tatap wajah papa.Akulah orang pertama yang cium wajah papa.Muka papa sejuk sangat masa tu.Kemudian papa dibawa ke kubur untuk dikebumikan.Itulah kali terakhir aku dpt lihat papa di dunia ini.Malam tu,buat tahlil then malam tu,aku tdo rmh papa dgn kakak n nenek aku.Aku tidur bilik papa.Katil papa.Aku lihat semua barang papa.And darah papa masih ada kat lantai sebab papa jatuh tersembam.Hati aku pedih sgt lihat darah papa.Aku bukak almari papa semua.Aku ambik baju papa 2 helai,cincin kesayangan papa and hp yang dia belikan untuk aku dlu.aku ambk n simpan.

Hati aku masih sedih,xdapat terima kenyataan sampai sekarang.seminggu lebih afta papa meninggal,mama balik dr mekkah.Aku terus peluk mama,menangis dekat mama,kongsi kesedihan aku dgn mama.Aku sangat sayangkan papa.Dia lah satu satunya papa aku di dunia ini.Aku tau dia sgt2 sayangkan aku dgn kakak aku.Kenapa susah sgt untuk aku terima kenyataan yang papa dah pergi untuk selama lamanya.Aku tau kerana kesedihan aku,aku lukai beberapa org.Aku xbermaksud untuk lukakan hati mereka.Tetapi,aku xdapat tahan kesedihan dlm diri aku ni.

Papa adalah seorang ayah yang baik,bertanggungjawab.Aku masih ingat lagi hari pelantikan aku sebagai ketua pengawas.Aku suruh dia belikan aku hadiah and bagi masa aku diberi jawatan tu.And yes,he bought me present.Dia belikan aku jam.Dia bangga anak dia jd ketua pengawas.And 1 more,hari graduation aku,dia cium pipi aku masa aku kat pentas.Ni semua peristiwa yang xdapat aku lupakan.Papa,maafkan baby.jam yang papa bg tu,dah xada dekat baby lg.jam tu org yg baby benci dh ambk jam tu.Dia nak pakai jam tu and sampai sekarang,dia mmg xpernah nk pulangkan walaupun baby ada mntk dlu.Maafkan baby pa.

Walaupun sebelum2 ni baby ketandusan kasih sayang papa sbb papa xduduk dgn baby,tapi baby tetap rasa sayang papa dekat baby.Papa xpernah abaikan baby dgn kaklong.Apa yang baby mintak semua papa bagi.Masa papa ada,baby dengan senang lenang belanja.Senang lenang kuar duit,shopping,beli ini itu.Tapi sekarang,dah xkan ada mcm tu lg.Everything now kaklong tanggung baby dgn mama pa.Insyallah,baby akan cari kerja part time untuk duit belanja sendiri.Insyallah,baby akan kekalkan cgpa baby supaya baby xpyh bayar balik loan yg baby pinjam.Insyallah.

Aku jarang luahkan perasaan aku dekat kakak aku.Aku tau dia akan bertambah sedih kalau aku nangis kat dia.So,the better is,aku kunci pintu bilik every nite,menangis and peluk cium baju papa.Itulah yang aku lakukan eveyday utk lepaskan rndu dekat papa.Ada masa terluang je weekend,aku dgn sis akan pergi kubur papa.Itu cara kurangkan rndu dekat papa.

Sorry kalau tulis everythng pasal papa kat sini.Ini je cara baby luahkan perasaan baby.

To everyone yang baca,thanks for reading my feeling..Daaa

~updated~

2010-05-31T21:53:00.000+08:00

Wohooo...updated my blog...wee

Actually,i lazy to update these few days..FYI, i always not in a good mood...Always moody...

Too many things happen lately..About my family and many more....Why all these happen to me??why??

Am i problematic??I hate these situation so much..I just want to be Happy...can i??

Last week went to Malacca..Trip with my FIC buddies...had fun there...Miss the trip so muchiieee...

Last week went out with my hubby of course...He accompany me to find job...Thanks baby..U always with me no matter what..U the only one makes me happy when i feel sad or down...U accompany me to sg wang and times square..I appreciate that baby...And today,our last day went out together..T.T

We lunch together at sushi king and find 1 t-shirt for u...For his work...Finally found 1 t-shirt for him...we walked at sg wang and try to find a few jobs for me..Even i got offer already...But we just try to find others..And,i got 1 offer better than before...Wee...The salary increase few hundreds...yiepeee...can't wait to buy my new phone..T.T..Hopefully can buy...Just my wish btw..

Again,he accompany me today..I am so happy baby...U always there for me..U really2 important to me... U shines my life..Just want u to know, I am happy with u...And I am sorry if lately,i always mad at u,scold u, moody and so on..I am really2 sorry baby..I didnt mean to hurt u actually...I am sorry...

Today our last day went out together..we will not hang out almost 1 month after this..:(

Both of us will start work this week...I feel sad actually... But,nvm,we work 1 month only...

I want u to be happy always...Happy wif me,happy with ur life..And honey,since u start work tomorrow,i wish u all the best..If u feel lazy,just remember me..wee...and think of me...u will excited go to work..XD...I love u so much..Bear in your mind that i'll always be with u when u need me baby..Take care...gudluck in work...xoxo

Our memories.....

Life~~~

2010-04-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hye peeps...Its quite a long time i didnt blogging..feel lazy to blogging nowadays..

Oh GOSH, my exam is coming soon!!! and yet, i didnt touch any books...gosh~~~

Last nite went to karoke at KTV's Ampang Park to celebrate uncle shah's bday..14 of us...8pm till 1140pm...feel tired actually..but,after went to karoake,we went to pulse at Hotel Mandarin..near Pavillion..at first,we dont have place to seat...so,we have to wait awhile..then we got 1 empty table..beside the stage..oh gosh..the speaker just above our head..haha...suddenly,we met 1 guy that we dont want to see...arghh..spoilt my mood and others too...we still dance but my eyes always looked at him..when i looked at him,i saw him talked with a few guys with a coat..maybe bonzer or his friend..

around 2am, ayang mia and husband went back home..we dont want that guy followed us..5mins later,we went back..left my csn and her friends there...while we waiting the car at the jokey,suddenly,that guy also wait his car there...F***...he saw us go out from pulse...my sis dnt want him to followed us...so,my sis's bf reverse the car and wait us infront pavillion..so,i and my sis go to the lobby hotel..and he also go to the lobby..arghh...why he wanna followed us...then me and sis go to the car..finally..he didnt follow us...

Today, i woke up 1230pm..XD...when i woke up,i feel very2 tired...my mum wake me up..haihz...then i ate bread and watch tv awhile...around 230pm,i slept again till 5pm like that...woah...after i wake up,i feel fresh...thats all for today...

My mood swings like....haihz...no mood at all...sorry to everyone if i did something that u dont like...sorry again...

I still confuse what degree i wanna take...which college i wanna continue my study...My dream to study at Segi Damansara but i think i cant continue study there...so,still thinking till now..and very confuse...T.T...

To u my beloved YEOH KIM BEE,

i love u so much honey...always want u to be wif me...no matter what ever we faced, i hope u and me still together...i do love u and truly from my heart...u the first person that i love so much...thanks for everything...i'll miss,love,need,care about u....always and always...u shine my life...u always be with me..i really appreciate that... Love U Always....xoxo

~happy valentines day~

2010-02-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

14th february...valentines day and chinese new year...

u my valentine honey..i love u so much..

happy valentines day honey..

i dedicate this poem for u..:)

You've Touched My Heart
You've given me a reason
For smiling once again,
You've filled my life with peaceful dreams
and you've become my closest friend.

You've shared your heartfelt secrets
And your trust you've given me,
You showed me how to feel again
To laugh, and love, and see.

If life should end tomorrow
And from this world I should part,
I shall be forever young
For you have touched my heart

we'll always happy and love each other honey...

he said :

"happy valentines day my love...i promise to take good care of you and i always will shower you with my love...hope ure happy wif me even the fiercest storm and toughest windwill never tear us apart...i love u

feelings???

2010-02-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

just wanna wrote what i feel lately...

Yesterday, my result came out. went to college at 11am. after take result,we went to eat our breakfast. i just eat 2 or 3 spoon of keow teow goreng.thats all. after that, we wet to library and start discussing our presentation till 4pm. i went back home and sleep. when i woke up,its time for dinner. i feel so hungry that time. my mum talking about my result. sudddenly, my sis mad and start scold me. i dunno what i do until my sis mad at me. this is not first time. but ALWAYS. what she want form me?? i do my best in studies. can u please appreciate me even a little.?? i'd no mood to eat. my mum asked me to eat,bt i dnt want. today, i hurt sumone..oh god...whats wrong with me??? i tried to sleep but 30mins later,i wake up..stomachache. my meal for the whole day today ONLY 2 or 3 spoon of keow teow. thats why stomachache and dizzy.

Today, wake up early because soon wanna go out with my frens. my mum prepared breakfast for us. and again,my sis scold me.she always scold me even i didnt do anytng wrong.f*** ...why???why??? i am human.only human.. can u please think what i feel?? i asked my frens to go out with me today because im too stress. finally, my frens decide to go karaoke. thanks to sheera because u want me to feel happy and bring me to karaoke. im really2 sorry. i knw u all want to make me feel better. but, even we went to karaoke and shopping a bit, my mood still not okay. sorry guys. but i really2 appreciate u all because u all tried to cheer me up. today,i dnt have appetite to eat again. just eat 1/3 quarter of chicken rice for my lunch. when i got back home, feel hungry and still dnt have mood to eat. i just eat famous amos as my dinner because u asked me to eat. i eat because i love u.so much

whats wrong with me lately??? always moody. feel sad,unhappy and so on. i am not gud enough for u. i know. i love u so much but sumtimes u cant feel my love to u. i hurt u so many times. i wanna be close with u as usual,share everything with u.only u and me. even sadness and happiness. u always be with me no matter what.. i really2 appreciate that. i dunno how to express my feelings here. i want everything we do together. but....i dunno what i gonna do now. i feel i always make u sad.never make u happy...am i?? i tried to be the best one for u. bt im failed. too many things in my head now..too many things i wanna write here but i'd no mood at all... i just wanna promise to myself,i wanna our relationship happy always.no fighting2,no argueing each other and so on. i hope we can understand each other more and more. to u, sorry for everything..too many things in my head now and till now,i'd no mood at all..i dunno when my mood gonna be okay as usual..but,my surroundings makes me feel moody..maybe im too sensitive and need more attention..i just want u to know,i will always be with u no matter what..even ur sadness..i'll be part in ur life..remember,u have me beside u..i do love u..so much..u the only one that i love..

sad???

2010-01-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

the sad week..T.T

i was too stupid..i admit it..hurt so many people that i love..

from bottom of my heart,i really2 sorry makes u all hurt because of me..didnt mean too..

i dunno why i too stupid that time...and now,i have to be careful all the time..haihz..

makes people cried because of me..

now,everywhere i go,i must careful all the time...

what my sis said to me,i know its true..

she care of me but sumtimes i too stress with her...

haihz..what to do....cannot do anything...silent is the best...

sorry mum makes u feel sad...didnt mean to hurt u btw....

my mum now okay and she understand me...i love u mum...

to u honey,sorry if i makes u trouble because of me...

u need to take care of me more afta this..sorry dear..

but i try to take care of myself okay...

i love all of u so much...

thanks because u all really2 care of me and love me...

now i feel like to eat chocolate..haha..:P

chocolate can makes my mood better..

wanna eat eat eat...hahaha...

i want patchi,cadbury,kinder bueno,hershey's and more...

i still remember my fren gave me chocolate...she bought at pavillion..

so many shape..i eat all...the chocolate was damn damn nice..hehe..

tomorrow my econs class...maybe got econs assignmnet..omg..im nt ready to do assignmnet yet..

haihz...nvm ler...must do no matter what..hehe

thats all frm me today...

♥a bouquet of flowers makes me smile and happy♥

2010-01-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

Today was my happy day..XD

got english class at 12.15pm...new lecturer better than before..hehe...i tink so..

before going to class, u came to my hse and suprised me..

a bouquet of flowers in your hand..

i was suprised...

u came to see me and gave flowers to me..

i am really2 happy honey...

u always makes me smile and happy..

take care of me no matter what...

i love the flowers...

roses one of my favourite flowers..

i love it..

u are perfect for me..

u'll always in my heart..

i love u so much...

one day, i asked him why he likes me and love me...he replied

" Because ure like my fren, best fren soulmate, lover, angel and everything of me. Because when u leave, u took away my everything. Because youre the only one that im holding to right now. Because your smile is my day by day's strength. Because i cant see my life when u arent near. Because i need you and i love you "

for me, u are really2 wonderful sayang..really happy u came to my life..

i'll make u happy as i can...i just want u to know that i'll always be beside u, take care of u and love u...

so,girls, bak off from him okay!!he's only MINE...and im urs only...

i love u always...

sick

2010-01-12T17:45:00.000+08:00

few days ago before my class start..im sick...sorethroat,fever,flu and cough...went clinic and eat medicine...sorethroat and fever okay already...i drink a lot of water to recover from my sickness..but till now still got bad flu and cough...my nose pain like ****

i ate flu pills...after 20-30 mins i eat that pills,pengsan already..haha...

even i eat 2pills in one times..my flu still not okay...

today,i eat 3pills without anyone know...i want to recover fast...only 3 and half hours i can sleep...i cant sleep at all...dunno why...even i take 3pills...when i woke up, i feel dizzy,headache and so on..maybe the effect of that pills i tink...

tonite i wanna eat more than 3pills..4,5,or 6 maybe...i want to recover fast!!god,please...my nose gonna be more pain...

i want to recover fast....

3rd semester

2010-01-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

just wanna update my blog since i didnt update for a few weeks..hehe

my third sem started today..uh...first subject was malaysian studies and followed by accounts..

malaysian studies gonna be bored and i i tink i'll feel sleepy in the next class...haha...

today,i'd no mood to go class and study...not feeling well...still got bad flu and cough even i ate medicine already...T.T

no more holiday mood now...need to focus on my study..my last semester of foundation...

still confusing what i gonna do in degree...admin??dunno...accounts??err...many people ask me to take accounts btw...but im still thinking...marketing??dunno...and so on...haih..need to think wisely before i made any desicion...

thank god for january and february my class only 3 days a week..monday,wednesday and thursday..yipee...

tuesday and friday no class till march...cool..

thats all for now...bye...

kejadian yang tak disangka

2009-12-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

Beberapa hari ni,hati aku rasa xsedap hati je..try to figure out..but,dunno how..then,biarkan je...

but today something happen to me..till now still phobia...otw back to my hse with my cousin.tiba2 dia dapat sms frm 1 of our family mengejek dia n say sumthng..now,my csn tgh ada problem besar.otak bercelaru..then dia still ok.still drive mcm biasa..then,dia dpt 1 sms lg..tiba2 dia baling hp dia kuat2..kwn dia ddk sblh and aku ddk seat belakang..then dia bwk kete laju2 and tiba2..omg...dia bawak kereta terhuyung-hayang mcm org mabuk..then yg buat aku phobia,masa dia bawak laju and terhuyung-hayang,lori minyak kat sebelah kiri.betul2 tmpt seat aku ddk..lagi sikit nk langgar lori minyak.sipi je..lori tu betul2 side aku.omg..if kwn dia xtolak stereng ke kanan,hbs la.kereta csn aku n lori minyak berlanggar and dekat situ jugak kereta n lori akan meletup and aku da xda lagi sekarang...still now aku still phobia and teringat kejadian td...nyawa aku hampir hilang tadi..allah selamatkan aku..thanks to Allah..

afta that,my csn stop kereta tepi highway and lepaskan geram dia.haih.aku da takut sgt2 nk biarkan dia drive..aku sms family aku yg sms dia n marah2..then aku ckp,krn sms tu,aku n csn aku blh mati td langgar lori minyak...stop sms my csn..then dia reply..dia ckp sms tu hanya gurauan..nk gurau pun xblh..

yang paling aku sedih sgt2..dia ckp"lantak la korg nk kena apa pun,aku xnk campur"..bila aku baca je sms ni,ya allah...mcm mana family aku sendiri blh ckp mcm ni kat aku??nyawa kitorang hampir melayang td gara2 sms yg dia hantar..dia reply mcm ni kat aku??aku punya la syg sgt kat dia...now,aku da faham sgt...aku xsangka yg dia blh reply mcm tu kat aku selepas dia yang mulakan dulu sms tu..

aku mengaku,salah csn aku..tiba2 naik gila baca sms tu and jadi xbtl and hampir je mati td..tapi,kalau family aku yg sorg tu xstart sms,semua ni xkan terjadi..fine,xsalahkan dia jugak..tapi,knp dia blh ckp mcm tu kat family dia sendiri..manusia mmg mcm ni...

the past of my life

2009-11-24T11:25:00.000+08:00

Our life is so precious

we must to be thank to God

sometimes,i wonder why my life are not happy as i want

but i know, i wont be happy at all

since child, i faced family problems in my life like others too

my family always fighting each other

always blaming each other

when i was at the primary school,i shocked about 1 news from my family

whats the news??i gotta to know

my parents otw to divorce!!

oh my god!!

i cant imagine what my feelings that time

feeling so hurt,sadness and so on

i know my mum and my dad are not happy together

the best way are divorce

i must accept!!

my sis and I try to makes my mum happy

my mum sacrificed all her life to me and my sis

she want us to be sucessfull one day

same as my dad

all i want in this world are to be together in my family eventhough i know thats impossible

but that my dreams

the dreams i know that will never comes true

now,i must focus in my life

whatever happens to my family,i will accept it

even i regret my family like this

i love my family so damn much

i know now my dad happy with his life

my sis and I want to take care of my mum

wanna makes my mum happy

i love my mum and my dad

even my dad got a new family now

but he still love me and my sis so much

i can see that

my father working hard to bear our life

and now, my father became a successful businessman

but i know my mum still hurt till now what happens to her marriage

she want to be like others

happy with beloved husband

but she didnt get that from my dad

she always said to me that she really wanna be happy like others

i dont mind if my mum wanna marry again if she find her true love

but my sis dont want my mum married again

my sis do that because she dont want my mum suffer again like before

she dont want any guy hurting my mum

now, my sis and I just wanna makes my mum happy

we will take care of my mum no matter what

what goes around comes around

2009-11-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

i feel that i can be away from anything that makes my life suffer...
what i gonna do now??
really dnt have any ideas to think...
it seems like gotta be more worst than before...
i could not imagine what my feelings rite now..
everything im doing,its like nothing ever happen..
y the life supposed to be like this...???
but i believe
what goes around comes around...
maybe im too weak to faced all this things....
shud i just let it go or shudnt??
im afraid if i let it go,im too suffer...
i dnt want to become weak...
now i just realized that im too stupid...
believing people too easy...
i just wanted to be HAPPY!!!!
im trying to do everything the best in my life..
sometimes i feel i wanna go to heaven..
my life problems never ends till the last breath...
now i realized what people said bout u..
i dunno what gonna happen after this...............
end

~seven~

2009-10-20T01:25:00.000+08:00

7 facts about me :

1) i love to be myself

2) i love my family damn much

3) hates hypocrite

4) easy going girl

5) helpful

6) hates a liar person

7) always dreaming something that unbelievable

7 things that scares me :

1) cat

2) ghost

3) failure

4) any types of animals

5) sickness

6) hot temper person

7) being a liar

7 song playing in my head lately :

1) i cant imagine me without you by jaci velasquez

2) the climb by miley cyrus

3) eh eh nothing else i can say by lady gaga

4) aku dan dirimu by bunga citra lestari

5) boom boom pow by black eyed peas

6) kiss me through the phone by soulja boy

7) pudar by rossa

7 valuable things in my life :

1) my family

2) my friends

3) handphone

4) my laptop

5) money

6) happiness

7) wealth

7 "First Time" in my life :

1) lost my happy family time

2) got my own laptop from my mum

3) being head prefects in secondary school which is so so unbelievable

4) coloured my hair

5) low blood pressure

6) skin problem during form 4

7) lost my eldest uncle

7 Words/Things i always use/say :

1) handphone

2) laptop

3) earphone

4) huhu

5) omg

6) damn it

7) haha

7 people i tag :

1) yeoh kim bee

2) mirna lestary

3) jeanne

4) tan peixi

5) sheera soraya

6) el

7) munira

full day of classes

2009-10-01T16:44:00.000+08:00

~ monday 28 sept ~
my class started at 9am.accounts.omg!i didnt do any of accounts homework..well,very excited raya..but i can finish it at class.after class,we have 2 hours 30 mins rest.so,i and mirna decide to go library since we have accounts homework..at 2pm we have qm class..as usual as semester 1..who finish the homework can go back..so,i went back home at 4pm..

~ tuesday 29 sept ~
i came early today because need to do something..need to go cimb bank,public bank and maybank..then at 1130am,i had my lunch with my friends..we went to mcd..after that,we went to account class started at 12.15pm..today,sir said,just finish it our homework..after finish our homework,mirna said she hungry and ask me to accompany her to go eat..then,i asked sir permission...ahaks mirna,sir membebel with u arounds 15mins..haha..the next class started at 3.15pm.economic class..we're studying new chapter..thank god,this sem only got 3chapter to recover till dec exam..good..hehe..

~ wednesday 30 sept ~
today,i came early too..wait mirna at mcd 10.15am..we went to maybank and popular to bought stationeries there..then,we went to mcd to bought our lunch..we ate at class..we reach college early today..after ate,i sleep at class..hehe..so sleepy..when class start,wow..i cant open my eyes..too sleepy..now,i just thinking my bed and my pillow...hehe..thank god today we still didnt received our economics assignment..yeay!!haha

~ thurday 1 oct ~
as usual,came early today..i followed my sis..she sent me to lrt station today..reach college at 8am..just read newspaper and playing games..when class started at 8.45am,mirna still didnt come to class,..i called her n she said that she sick and cant go to class today..then ok la..kim sit beside me..we finish our exercise at 10am...then,i went back home and sleep...hehe

~ friday 2oct ~
today are the day that all of my class scared off...our result is coming out today!!!im so nervous okay...especially my accounts paper..huh..wishing that i will pass all the paper..please wishing me luck today..

~reality in life~

2009-09-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

my life started to be worst and more even worst

i tried to make all the things in good and best position

but

what i got from there???

there's nothing!!!

since many years ago

i wanted to be happy in my life

but i know

its hard to be happy

why everything i done is wrong in your eyes???

since child, i live in a lot of challenges

challenges come n go,come n go

like air in our life

what are my dreams???

my dreams

i want my happy family back

but i know

i will never never got that back

even i faced a lot of problems

i tried to smile to everyone arounds me

sometimes,people do not appreciate us

people think that im useless,bitches n bla bla bla

wow!!!

i have pride ok!!!

i treat u nicely

but

u treat me like s**t

People's minds change

Mines the same

People's lives change

But I won't...I won't let go

I won't let go

~beloved school friends~

2009-09-07T19:58:00.000+08:00

SATURDAY ( 5 SEPT 2009)

i went out with my beloved friends since so long didnt meet them.we went to klcc.buka puasa togeher.me,sheera,her bf,dekla,rochelle,alifa and munira..at first,we want eat at chilli's..but,at 6pm,we went to chilli's...omg...peoples lining up till the end..huh...then,we went to dome..finally got place there...

my bestfriends...i love u all guys...really2 enjoyed with u all that day...hopefully,we will meet again for the next time okay...bye..

movie day

2009-09-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

today,me,kim,weng hoong,yau,kelvin,kelly,janice and vonne went to times square to watch movie...im going to ts wif janice and kelly...when we almost reached ts,its raining...we run..haha...then,kim,weng hoong and yau went to eat...me,janice and kelly just walking around...we wait kelvin at cinema...all of us want to watch orphan..but kelvin dont want..he said,so boring..haha..then we have some argument there...dunno which movie we want to watch...
finally,we watch orphan..hehe..
orphan is scary movie for me..when esther want to kill someone,i shock and close my eyes...so scary..
kim,im sorry if i get u shock too..haha...u beside me..so,u can see my face how when i shock..haha...u laughing at me when i shock..haha..so funny my face???hahaah...i know its funny...because my face showing that im really2 shock..haha
after we watch movie,kim,weng hoong and yau went back first..kim's hse had celebration..father's bday...
so me,janice.kelly,vonne and kelvin went to old town..they wanna to eat...so,i followed them since the time too early..but i didnt eat..im fasting..hehe...
i busy with my phone..messaging and games...then,4 of them stared at me..haha...they ask me so many questions...damn shy..the questions that they ask me such as
~what my feeling to....
~what my status now
~friend or special friend
~we're close and too obvious
~always with...
hahaha...i need to answer all...
when i gave it my answer,they dont believe me and keep asking..haha...damn shy...
only me and ........ know what happen to us...hehe...
guys,im happy today with u all...=))
then i went back because my sis wait me at bukit jalil station...fetch my mum at hse then we went to midvalley...shopping for eid....suddenly,my stomach so pain...i cant even walk properly...maybe gastric..dunno...i rest for awhile...but still pain...then,we buka puasa at san francisco steakhouse...a lot of food there...i ate all food there..haha...until my stomach fully of foods..hehe..eventhough my stomach pain,i still can eat because im so hungry..hehe..thank god my stomach ok after i ate...hehe...then,we bought things and we went back home....
thats all for today...hehe...

~life must go on~

2009-08-31T20:17:00.000+08:00

am i bad ?
am i selfish ?
am i heartbreaker ?

happiness comes around me
sadness comes around me

i wanna be happy in my life
i wanna be good in my life
i wanna be perfect in my life

but...

i cant make it myself
i cant be happy,good and perfect in one times
nothing lasts forever

sometimes, we do badly to the another person
sometimes,people do badly to us

i try to avoid looking forward or backward
and try to keep looking upward

challenges comes around me
each challenges makes me down

GOD
please give me strength to faces all this
i just a human being

sometimes
i didnt show my sadness
i tried to be a happy person
i tried to cover my sadness

There is no end...
There is no beginning...
There is ONLY the infinite passion of life...

~first week of second semester~

2009-08-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

~monday~
accounts was the first class in second semester.damn...sir said 5 person failed accounts...im so scared because i didnt do well in accounts...hopefully,i will not fail that paper..sir gave us homework..exam paper that we done it...i must finish before 7 sept...
after class finished,me,kim,kelvin and theg thai went to watch movie...we went to times square and watch "UP"...nice movie...i like the husband and wife that always loving each others until dead..then,we went to sushi king to eat...hahaah...i have fun with u all guys...thanks....
later,we went back home...after i reached home,i wanna sleep...suddenly,my sis called me and said we must go to my auntie's house because all my family there...we buka puasa together...after eat.we went back home...damn tired...huhu

~tuesday~
today,the whole of my family buka puasa at outside...so,my sis fetch me at downstairs and we went to my grandma's house first....then,we went to the restaurant..we book 1 room and all my family sit at that room...but not enough place...the kids must sit outside..hahaah....i ate a lot today..hehe..since we took buffet..i can eat whatever i want until my stomach full of food..hahah...then we went back home.....

genting day

2009-08-23T00:57:00.000+08:00

very excited because im going to genting with my beloved cousins...we went there by car...5 of us...when we reached there,its not really2 cold ..haha...im wearing sleeveless only...no need to wear sweater...then,we played outdoor game first...but,i didnt play space shot..its really2 makes me scared...haha...after we all finished played outdoor games,we played indoor games...then,we eat together...im just snap 1 picture only..hehe..others in my cousin's friend camera...im really2 enjoyed there...

after reach kl,we went to my cousins working..at uptown damansara...we lepaking there and talking2 until 1am..haha..then,my cousin slept at my hse..when we otw back to my hse,my cousin ask me to drive her car..she stopped at bangsar and im drove the car..that was the first time im drive car after i got my driving licence last may...thank god,im still remembering how to drive car..hahah...

the next day,we went to my grandma hse..hehe..i drive car again..from my hse to kelana jaya..yeah,i can drive finally..haha..its really2 makes me proud..haha..no la..just kidding..im still have confident to drive car..

holiday week

2009-08-20T01:45:00.002+08:00

~sunday~
im stayed at my auntie's hse,mont kiara...we went out together and went to the ikea...as usual,i bought cranberry candle for my hse and room...then,we went to the ikano...my auntie and me shopping together..after that,we went to my grandma hse to visit my grandma..later,i went back to mont kiara..

~monday~
my auntie do for me breakfast..hehe..my favourite,chicken sandwich..haha..then,i help my aunt to cooked fettucini and spagethi to bring to my grandma hse...we went to my grandma hse..talking2..around 6pm,i went out wif my cousins..we went to tropicana shopping complex to bought movie ticket at midnite..damn bored this shopping complex..nothing there..then,we went to my cousin's girlfriend restaurant to eat there...we're talked about the past...then,we went to one utama and bought movie tickets..same movie that i watched last week,the proposal..after that,we went to setapak i tink..im forgot..we played pool...that was my first time playing pool..i didnt know how to play..my cousin teach me.then,we beat...who can be the winners...haha...at the last,my balls have 5 and my cousins balls have 2...i dont want to lose..then,im cheating...haha..i put my balls at the end of the hole...aha..after we all play,we went eat...i ate naan cheese..haha...at 4am eat naan cheese...later,i will get fat..haha..otw to my grandma hse,we're singing together at car..haha...reach at my grandma hse at 5 am...

~tuesday~
i woke up at 1030am..today,i have dentist appointment..im going to appointment..damn pain my teeth..i cant eat..i only can eat porridge,bread..haih...since my grandma went to mont kiara,i decide to sleep at my grandma hse with my cousins and my aunt..my sis fetch my mum at my grandma hse..then my sis and my mum went back home...

~wednesday~
woke up early in the morning because today i must go to library segi for my islamic assignment...we have discussion group...we went to breakfast first..then we went to the library...after our discussion almost done,we went back...we went to kampung baru to eat there..im went back to my hse since almost 1 week i didnt stayed at my hse..miss my hse,my room,my pillow..haha...

~thursday~
the best day..hehe...im going to genting today with my cousins....

saturday time

2009-08-16T11:08:00.000+08:00

saturday is my islamic class...damn bored this class...but i must attend this class because i have quiz for assignment marks...guess what??i didnt read all..hehe..just a lil only...the lecturer gave paper to me..huh!!i dont know some questions because i didnt read..heheh...mirna also didnt read..haha...then,my friend,eeqbal came...so,he sms me for the answer.haha..i just gave it to him what i know only...then,he sms me what the answer that he know..so,we changes the answer..haha...

after class finished,3 of us went to the library to found the books that have our assignment topic...only 1 book have answer..but not all..haih..then,me and mirna plan to go pavillion to find another books for our assignment..then,we went to the pavillion...we call eeqbal to join us because he also in our group..then,he said he have stomach pain..hahaha...its ok la..

both of us go eat together because we're so hungry...heheh...

after that,we go to the toilet...then,we snap pictures before we go out from the toilet...hahah...takda kerja...

after that,we go to the bookstores and found books...but,dont have...huhuhu...we went to the klcc and then im go back to the kelana jaya...

after reach at my grandma house,my auntie,makyang call me...she ask me to come to her house at mont kiara..at nite,im going to my auntie house with my cousin syahira....we went to swimming at nite...but,only 3 mins im going to swimmig...its very2 cold...huh...then i and my auntie went to the sauna for 30 mins...

we go back,take shower,eat and watch movie together...then we sleep...heheheehh...
thats all my story for saturday....thanks for read!!!

~im dedicate this for him~

2009-08-14T13:14:00.000+08:00

saat mula waktu perkenalan kita,hatiku terasa begitu bahagia...
saat mula waktu perkenalan kita,engkau telah menunjukkan kasih sayangmu terhadapku...
saat mula waktu perkenalan kita,engkau dan aku bagai isi dengan kuku...

hatiku mula berdetik...
engkau bagaikan permata yang telah mengisi kekosongan hatiku ini...
hatiku pada saat ini teramatlah kosong...
engkau telah hadir dalam hidupku dan mengisi kekosongan hatiku ini...

engkau yang aku kenali...
telah menjagaku,mengambil berat tentang diriku...
engkau hadir dalam hidupku pabila aku sangat sangat memerlukanmu...
hadirmu dalam hidupku telah menyinari hidupku yang kesunyian ini...

aku ingin mengenalimu dengan lebih lagi...

a bestie is someone who cares,
someone who is always there for me...

a bestie is someone is special,
someone who I can tell everything...

a bestie who will never betray,
no matter who against me...

a bestie is someone who I can rely on,
not else than u ....

doesnt mean that I didnt show my fullest care and love to u,
i forget u and everything u do and supported me through my hard times!!
u will always in my mind and in my heart...

a star has 5 ends,
a square has 4 ends,
a triangle has 3 ends,
a line has 2 ends,
a life has 1 ends
but....
our relationship will never ends.....

~the week of examination~

2009-08-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

im just finish my exam yesterday..thank god..finally,im finish my exam...during last week and this week,im very2 tired..have to work out every nite to study study study..huh!!damn tired...first paper was quantitative methods..actually,when i was do this paper,only half hour i can finish it...but,im checking my paper for a few times to see whether its correct or not...after finish qm paper,i and mirna go to eat at mcd..we're very hungry..hehe...then mirna,i,kim,weng hoong,kelvin and yau went to the library to study ACCOUNTS..haha...we book 1 room...actually,we're not focus..haha...we're busy talking to each other..haha...that time,yau asked question to mirna..but,mirna didnt heard that because shes listen to music,radio..hahaha...then,we're get bored to study accounts..well,all of us tired..hehe..then,we went back..
second paper was killing paper,accounts..when i looked at the paper,huh...my accounts not balanced..im try to do it a few times.change this,change that,but still not balance...haih..what to do...depreciation also very hard to answer...haih...thank god i can answer petty cash and mcq..huhu...then the time was over...huh..i thaught only a few people said that accounts are tough paper..but almost the whole class said too...
then,the third paper was english paper..at first,i can do it..but suddenly,i got headache and stomach pain..shit...i cant answer it carefully...i cant focus on my english paper...when i got headache,i cant do anything..i have low blood pressure..haih..i dont know how was my english paper...haih...its ok la...its passed already...i went back and take medicine then go sleep..after i woke up,im ok..
then,i started to reads economic...the last paper was my economic paper...that day,my economic paper start at 2pm...kim asked me if i want to follow him to study together with him and weng hoong...since im stay alone in my house,im followed him..so,we met at mcd...then,kim said so hot there..hahaha...yeah..its hot...so,we went to the library and book 1 room...me,kim,weng hoong and kelvin study econs..haha...we're very focus..hehee..then,we went to eat before the exam started...we went to mcd,but,its full..then,we went to mamak and eat..after eat,we went to the exam..huh..my last paper,,yeah..thank god i can answer my econs paper..only mcq are a bit tricky question..then i answer my 3rd ques..haha..im forgot the terms of demand and supply..haha...but its ok...only terms of demand and supply i forgot...other question i can answer it..question 4 are easy to me because im already remember all about planned economy..so,i just write it...im finish my econs paper at 3.15pm..but,i heard its raining outside...so,i just checking2 my paper...then at 3.45pm,i go out...when i went out,only me and janice..haha...we talk about the econs paper...then kaysha,citra and kim go out..we talk2..im waiting for mirna,but im waited her 30 mins...since my sis wait for me at bukit jalil 4.30 pm...i went back with kim,weng hoong,kelvin and yau...citra took for me the timetable for 2nd semester...shit..i dont like this 2nd sem timetable...huh...have a few day my class finish at 5.15,6pm..arghhh..im not happy with that...well,bulan puasa is coming soon..so.for sure the train are pack..huh...nvm,mirna i think both of us always buka puasa at outside...hehe...
after my sis fetch me,we went home and change cloth...then me,my sis and my mum went out...we went to one utama...my sis said since i last exam,she want me,my mum and her went to dinner and watch movie..haha...im absurd..haha.because my sis not like that...shes always busy...24 hours busy..hehe...then we went to one utama...auntie yang and uncle shah already wait us there...so,we eat and talk2...auntie yang said,since my exam over,i must sleep at her house untill my next sem start..haha...then,me,auntie yang,my sis and my mum watched movie..uncle shah had meeting and abang ijad tired...so,4 of us watch the proposal,..the best movie..i like sandra bullock acting..the best movie..after watch movie,we sent auntie yang to her house at mont kiara..then,we went back...when i reach home,i online..chatting with kim and mirna..then,kim said he want to study..so,i think,i want to accompany him to study..but,im sleep..haha...so tired...sorry kim..hehe...today,im just stay at my house...sleep..sleep...haha...tired for a week..hehe..

first blog

2009-08-13T12:18:00.000+08:00

hye guys..this was my first time doing this blog..actually i dont want too..but some of my friends ask me to do this blog..kim and mirna,i done it..hehe..well,this is my first time doing this..so,i might be confusing to edit or post anything..hehe..if i really have a free time,for sure,i will always edit this blog since im holiday now until 23rd august..welcome to my blog..hehe